ikasaki♥

2010-09-06T02:13:00.000-07:00

SINCE

27.10.08

october 2010

we are 2 years baby

Her Addiction

His Addiction

I hope thing will go as what we have plan for the future

Love Us

XoXo

2010-04-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

its been weeks now , this blog is left dusty

with no updates

i've been busy this few weeks, stressing out about school

relationship , friendships .

i dont have the time to seat and type a long post here

plus to log in and check anything

if there's anything that you need to reach me

well there's such thing as facebook, find me there

its late now and im still not asleep yet

so i have this time to do a short post

...................................

currently im feeling nervous + scared +upset for bbygirl

as she's sending her boyf off to brunei

and i've been thru that situation before and i totally feel her

3 weeks is long enough

zaki is going off to taiwan soon about a month

and this feeling that i've had a few months ago

is coming back

too many to think about everyday and its giving me headache

.................................

people usually judge you from the first time they meet each other

even when they didnt talk to one another

they dont know each other but from that one look

they seems to know alot about you

everyone sees who i appear to be but only a few knows the real me

you can only see what i choose to show , there's so much more you just dont know

so sometimes keeping your mouth shut works the best

dont comment nor give any compliments

it aint worth either

2010-03-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

life hasnt been that great so far

things happends and it sucks

didnt really like what's happening this few days

give me headache and heart ache

how much better my life's gonna be

im not schooling nor working

how bored is life

2010-03-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

go ahead and say what you wanna say

to "insertname"

" Dah lahh UGLY then nk BITCH , UGLY BITCH!!"

HAHAH!

2010-02-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

MALACCA WITH BESTIE

had alot of fun

the next guess trip maybe we are going KL

probably march

need to save more money

loveyoubabe

BY THE CORRIDOR

GETTING MARRIED

BRIDE'S MAID

KARAOKE

LOBBY

2010-02-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

i ♥ my boyf

i like his style

im not worried of anything

and i trust him , really really trust him

2010-02-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

I HATE BITCHES WHO KNEW NOTHING BOUT ME & START

BITCHING

just dont understand certain girls

at least when boys are with their own group of boys they talk about girls ,

but girls when their with their own group of girls they still talk about girls

2010-02-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

sometimes you know its not your fault but initially

it became yours . knowing that you cant point out people's mistakes

and take in all the blame wasnt easy.

why is it that you can never understand what she is trying to say

i can feel she's screaming soo loud but none of us can hear her

yes , she wants to say something , so listen....

STOP IT! UR HURTING HER , being mad wasnt how ur suppose to react to it

ending it was not the solution i suppose

hope its gets better next time babe

anyways , as for me

i love my muhdzaki pretty much

schools ending soon

YAY me !

2010-01-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

hey humans

been busy with school projects, i've alot of printing to do

its gonna be a short post today after so long

gotta get back on track with school works

busy. busy. busy

I miss muhd zaki

his leaving for taiwan about a month soon

can i skip that day please?

2009-12-23T12:02:00.000-08:00

precious ?

for real?

all i want is someone that will treat me right

and when i need him the most

he'll always be there for me

i dont know why im feeling this way

its amazing how i can still care about someone

when i know they didnt care about me

i dont know what am i doing

is this right ?

there aint any prince charming in my world

and screw all those happy endings love story, it aint real

it aint happening

2009-12-21T10:04:00.001-08:00

i hate you

when you give me that attitude

now my left chest ache

look at what you have done

are you satisfy now?

i guess you are

im going to smile like nothings wrong , talk like everythings perfect

act like its a dream and its not hurting me

not all scars show

not all wounds heal

sometimes you cant always see

the pain someone feels

just because my eyes don't tear , doesnt means my heart dont cry

2009-12-17T03:05:00.000-08:00

pictures

2009-12-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

some leftover pictures .

will update soon

2009-12-09T07:12:00.000-08:00

there comes a time in life where i have to let go of all the pointless drama and

the people who create it and surround myself

with people who makes me laugh so hard

that i forget the bad and focus solely on the good. i've been through a lot of shit

this year . im tired of chasing everyone and

trying to fix everything but its not giving up

i realise that i dont need certain people

, the bullshits they gave and the drama they give.

my life is too precious to worry about stupid shits.

meanwhile zaki when for day and night firing , leaving me alone .

his trainings are getting on my nerves and

i hate his brand new pager which his getting

one soon from camp. we still have another year to go , make time flies faster please

holidays are around the corner , feeling lethagic and i've been dragging myself to school

this week . im already thinking about my holidays , holidays mood .

trying to escape from all lecturers regarding my projects . can i just die ?

macromedia flash is the killer . im way behind time as im having problems with

a few animations and my lecturer is away for a few weeks for haj ,

we are left with mr phua , co-teacher. useless guy .

all deadlines are getting nearer

--------------------------------------------------

can i just die ? really .

2009-12-06T09:20:00.000-08:00

Last week of school?

YESSS

.....................

feel good ?

HELL YESSS

.............................

holiday is what i have been waiting for

i've never hate school as much as i hate my life in ITE

people might think , how bad a school can be ?

worse then what you have ever imagine

i called it hell school .

types of people you dont know that it even exist , is now here in your school

hell school is all about

the school , the people , the classmates i get ,the lecturers

but its something which i cant run away from

its either i face it or i fail it

been thinking positive all this while, trying to do all i can

going to classes , struggling for my projects and

without realising that im left with 2 more months to go and im done with it.

graduate is the word , not quitting nor anything similar to it

attendence wise , i guess im still -okay-

i need to push myself , more this time

and just endour for now

----------------

ToOdLeS

2009-11-24T06:34:00.000-08:00

LOVES

when i tell you i love you

i didnt say it out of habit or just to make up a conversation

i say it to remind you

that your the best thing that ever

happend to me

2009-11-18T09:07:00.000-08:00

i wonder what was on boyfie's mind when he ask me about shading his tatts?

what makes him thinks that im gonna agree with that?

you promised me to laser everything off

and now your asking for more

youve got your whole legs covered , what else you want?

yes , im pissed

what if my parents were to know about this

you said youve changed

im so dissapointed

other then that , been thinking about the events coming december

i need alot of cash --- DADDY HELP!!!

2009-11-16T02:46:00.000-08:00

NOTHING BETTER TO DO

SNAP , SNAP SNAP

WILL UPDATE SOON

2009-11-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

screw-ed all school group projects

DAMN

2009-11-09T05:31:00.000-08:00

IM PROUD OF MY MAN

one more year to go baby

and we are done with it

i promise i'll always be there whenever u need someone

i'll support in whatever you are doing

we have gone thru alot this whole year together

lets stay strong together

love u baby

2009-11-07T00:06:00.000-08:00

humans

i've been very lazy lately

dont know why

barely move a muscle nowadays

well , things happened . this week i rated it average

school as per normal been skipping classes

lazy , lazy , lazy me

i really need to change myself , i cant go on with being this lazy everyday

and expect to have a better life in the future

well , miracle wont happened unless if i work for it

yes i want a good future and i know i wont stop only on nitec cert

nitec cert wont bring me anywhere , i know that

but im still in the party-ing mood and being lazy to attend my classes

alot of projects coming , stressfull? yes

everything about school makes me lazy but meanwhile going out

party-ing, im soo on . im thinking about zouk-out , chalets and

some adventurous activity coming december

how????

2009-11-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

love you

2009-11-05T08:22:00.000-08:00

i need him just to breathe , everyday .

and when he got to stay in camp

im dead on my weekends

his the one whom im always with

his the one who i talk to till late night

his the one who listens to all my complaints

his the one who stand for me

his the one who laugh to all my jokes , tho its a lame joke

his the one who really shower me with love

his care and concern

he even gave me the sweetest surprises which i've never expect from him

and how can i not to love him as much as i am now

he is the one

the one i have been searching for

i felt soo bless

i hope this love last

looking forward for the coming years

be strong baby , i know we can

we are in this battle together

his my drug and im addicted

2009-11-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

life is kinda shaky this few days

i dont like this feeling

im soo stuck in this life , i wish i had a better one

only bby knows it

he is the only one who always listens to all my complains

another reason why he is the one that i cant go on even for 1 day without him

wish me luck with school and hopefully i can see him every weekend now

im sick and tired of this certain people around me

i dont mind if whatever happend at the end of the day and it doesnt affect me

then by all means go ahead and do what you wanna do

but for the situation now , yes it is affecting me

im so annoyed by this people

just dont bother my life and i'll be very thankfull for that

everyday i hope miracle will happen and things will change

but i was wrong , there's no miracle and things are all still the same

im soo down

2009-10-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

picture(s)

for now

will update soon

2009-10-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

pretty girls turn heads , my girls break necks

im soo bored without boyfie around me

im so used to be with him everyday if possible

i miss you a little , i guess you could say ,

a little too much , a little too often

and a little more each day

boyfie thinks that im too sentitive sometimes

well , arent we girls suppose to be sensitive

we girls are like mobile phones , we love to be held ,

talked too but if you press the wrong button ,

you'll be disconnected.

all alone at home since yesterday , everyone has got plans to do

which i dont even have any

i want my boyfie back now

i say what i want , i do what i want and i get what i want

life is meaningless damn it

2009-10-24T03:50:00.000-07:00

going thru a rough night yesterday

misunderstandings between us

but im really sorry for what i've caused

coming 27th its gonna be our one year

lets stay strong , can we?

im waiting for you patiently, always will

you dont have to worry about me

its either im in school or home and of course im having my meals more

then you do

we have gone thru this together for almost a year

why cant we go thru the same shit for another year

im very sorry for saying i have no confidence on us

i know it hurts you and i hate seeing you this way

but i have faith

i really do

im missing you now

as usuall in every relationships there's up and down

its either you can make it thru together

or break away

im trying to keep mine safe

because i cant bare seeing him going away

nothing else matters to me , as he meant the world to me

muhd zaki

2009-10-21T05:41:00.000-07:00

funny jokes !

just wanna share the joke around !

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )

GIRL: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he took my clothes off

.PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )

GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, he had sex with me!

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )

GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD !!!!!

HAHAHAHAH !

love

im missing him now .

badly

2009-10-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

i receive a notebook from my prince on the day

when he came back from brunei and he didnt let me open it at first

i can only read it when im home

i was wondering , why? a notebook?

we then find a place to sit and i insist on opening the notebook

i was soo eager to know what is it

i really wanna take a look inside

he then said 'ok , u may open it since u insist on it'

soo here i go , flip the cover page

...... after reading the 1st page i realise tears are rolling down my cheeks

yes! i was crying , it really touched me

its the sweetest thing i've ever received from him

its not the notebook itself, but what's written in the notebook

really touched me deep

because that notebook is his diary when his in brunei

he bring that notebook with our pictures together

whenever his leaving for outfield

its written ' day 1 , 29sept , 8.02pm ... ETC'

since he cant text me , he did this

whats writen in the notebook was really sweet

i've been thinking about him all daylong , and i didnt knw he is thinking of me too

LOVE YOU SWEETHEART

2009-10-18T03:02:00.000-07:00

hey humans!

his back =)

i've been very busy since he arrived on the 12th october

well , to catch up with the times that we have missed

only god knows how excited i was once i received a msg from him

saying that he has arrived here

and soo skip on the first day of school and fetch bby from his camp

well we had chalet for the last 2 days and it ended up more that

what we expected it too be

party-ing all night was tiring but

we ended up having soo much fun

yaa , holidays has ended , schools re-opens

more assignments coming , class test , exams

Lazy , Lazy , Lazy

the mood of going to school is not here with me

certain people knows why

might be the school's or the class's environtment itself sucks

or mayb its the journey to school which takes me hours to be there

and never on time .

partly im lazy now too

time really flies soo fast this week , bby's a week off day ended tomorrow

and he has to report for work early in the morning tomorrow

back to our normal routine

stuck in this type of life

HELP!

2009-10-10T02:25:00.000-07:00

picture(s)

(my family )

( my darling )

( My Friends )

A few pictures uploaded

alright humans , 2 more day to go !

bby will be back

school re-opens next week

lazy , lazy , lazy

2009-10-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

picture taken before he fly off to brunei

HEY HUMANS!

YES! i am counting down the days

2 more days of suffering and his back home

as the days is getting nearer , i notice that my heart tends to beat so fast

am i too excited to see him? too nervous upon monday? very anxious?

all of the above i guess

well , after 3 weeks . come on who wont feel that way

reading back all his messages , i cried

and when he text me and said that

-- dear, i bring our picture along for my outfields , and when i was at the lowest

point of my life there i took out our picture , had a good look at it , and only that

gives me the strength to continue my trainings--

again i cried ,i realise moments like this is the only time

to see if our partner is really important in our life ETC

i admit i cried alot within this 3 weeks

the day i send him off to the airport was the hardest thing to do

but fetching him later on was the happiest day of my life

2009-10-01T00:23:00.000-07:00

I miss him

HIS AWAY now. off to brunei for 3 weeks and only the 1st week has gone

2 more weeks to go. please make time fly faster for this case.

i have yet to book for my FTT . ive been delayin it for almost a month now.

i have planned everything so well but doing what ive planned is not really working

i can really feel the lost when sayang is away for 3 weeks

bored , no one to talk to and no one that im looking forward to see every weekend

friends are all working too , some of them are even out of town

boring isnt it . there goes my holidays.

raya this year to me is so plain

same as the previous years

i dont really feel the excitement for raya ,

well i didnt get any more 'collections' or 'ang bao'

or anything similiar to that

plus i have to go places to places with heels and consume alot

of food and gain all the weights that i've lost during the fasting month

that is why raya to me is just the same as any other days

well , im counting down the days sayang will be back

im very excited for that day to come

**will do a proper post soon

2009-09-19T22:12:00.000-07:00

he said ,

my chick could have whatever she want

and goin every store for any bags she want

you want it , i got it , go , get it , i buy it.

2009-09-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

selamat hari raya to everyone

somehow if i have ever hurt anyone feelings

im very sorry for what ever that i did

lets forget all those days and start a new

let bygones be bygones

im stressing out

boyfriend is leaving coming thursday

2009-09-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

(sayang)

the day he is leaving is getting nearer

im really confused, im not sure if i wanna send him. i cant bear seeing

him flying off and leaving me back home . but if i didnt send him

i wont get the last look on him and say goodbye which really means alot to him

i bet im gonna cry on that day itself

leaving to brunei is not only about being seperated from me and knowing

that the training there is gonna be turf and torturing

it makes me so uneasy and damn worried

i was told to make him cards or any notes to motivate him when his there

none of his campmates knows about this

its a secret that their sargeant told their LOVED ONES to do

so ya , i am gonna do him a card .

its gonna be a picture of us and im gonna write out on the back of the picture

the secret will only be revealed when they were there

all cards must be submitted to the sargeants by this coming tuesday

gonna brainstorm of what to write, i need ideas.

i just hope everything will go on smoothly dont wanna hear

any bad news or something similiar to it EVER

HELP

2009-09-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

hey world

i've been thinking alot lately

all about the people around me and boyf

i love my friends . i really do. peeps who have been with me thru thick and thin

and face whatever circumsatnces together, how can i forget you guys.

i have a bunch of fabulous girlfriends and a wonderful boyfriend

great humans around me, but why did i still care about those humans

who pathecticly did something to irritates me and gives me rubbish?

how i wish i can see my loved ones everyday and somehow hide

them in my school bag and have them to myself all the time

i miss you babes

there's a differences between friends and soul friends

soul friends are the ones who are always there for you

who always return your calls or msg immediately

when you said your upset or in trouble

the ones who will gives you the strength to move on even after

getting dump by a guy

the ones who put a smile on our faces

the ones who will share their food even thou if its a nugget

ETC

and yes i have these humans around me

and i am soo glad that it even makes me so emotional now

i felt blessed at least i have friends who doesnt come and go just like that

what else would i ask for?

boyfriend is amazing , we really loved each other

no quarrels no fights so far

hopefully things will go on this way

we stick to one another, again i felt soo blessed.

at least there is humans who really loves me for who i am

thats why they are always around me

if they dont they would have dissappear after a few weeks,

or worse still ,a few days.

certain people doesnt deserve to be treated nicely , or even be their friends.

friends : 'i will see you , when i see you'

lets just put it in the above phrase

anyways , i cant wait for the raya outings with friends on the 3rd day

of raya. due to working soo we have to bring forward to the 3rd day of raya

saw this guy above

i love him

(sayang)

this lady above

i love her

2009-09-08T05:59:00.000-07:00

i found this funny cartoon on what "REAL FRIENDSHIP" means:

alright. some funny cartoons that i found but i kinda like it thou.

sayang is going for 3 days 2 night outfield tomorrow.

and im feeling worried Xtra worried because his ill

i cant focus much on my revisions for tomorrows paper.

thinking about other matters instead of the subject

my mind is running wild and holidays is ard the corner.

sometimes when i think about not going to school

and see those PATHETIC faces

everydayy , HOW I REALLY LOVES holidays SO MUCH!.

but being at home while boyf is

in camp and besties working ,

well most of my friends are working so its
boring.but i will try to make myself busy

by going to Bukit Batok driving Centre

everyday and book for my practises.

wanna finish up my licence by end of this year.

hopefully. so that im on track for

the KL trip with friends, end of this year. me driving?

Hope so ~~~ =)

anyways im looking forward to this fridays and saturday .outing with my friends and shopping with sayang. i really cant wait!

OPPS!

sorry for being mean , but certain people deserve it.

2009-09-01T02:17:00.000-07:00

his my love

love please dont leave

hey young world

soo many things are in my mind right now. there's so many things

that is left undone and i have been delaying the work

that is suppose to be settle by now. everything will be done last minute.

its the habit that i had.i keep on delaying

and stress myself out in the end.

i know this habit is just gonna knocks me dwn real hard in future.

now all the works is pilling up. it gets higher and higher as days pass.

im so stress right now. exams is getting nearer ,

i've yet to book for my FTT

practise and i have been delaying it for a week now.

well , fasting really makes me damn lazy to even step out of the house

and barely move a muscle. im gonna sink soon

other then that, bbylove is going to brunei for 3 weeks soon.

i hate that. worse that his leaving on the 5th day of raya

RAYA?? - yes! idiotic SAF. come on , give him a break.

soo , which also makes my raya this year aint interesting at all.

since its boring for this year raya , i only bought 1 suits of kebay

for the first day of raya. the other days seriously i couldnt care.

i just upsets me alot . in less then a month now and PUFFF* his gone

school holidays is coming and i hate holidays.

weird? ya! usually everyone love school holidays but i dont enjoy it.

unless im getting a part time jobs just to kills my time.

and i usually hang out on the weekends till late night with bbylove

other then that im too lazy to move around.

god is always listening to our prayers

is he listening to mine?

i remember that day i was soo sick and he stand under the rain

all drench to get a cab , and send me home.

he covers my head with his sweater heading towards the cab

he then hug me tightly to prevent me frm getting cold
all the way till i reached home

------love------

------muhdzaki------

i shall update more on the next post.

miss you

2009-08-28T02:25:00.000-07:00

hey!!!

well i skip school today , bcoz i overslept.

i woke up about 11.30 and my class ends at 12noon.

so yaa, whats the point of rushing to school then.

soo what i did was i grab my phone and see abt 6 to 7 missed calls and messages.

angry msgs like WHERE ARE YOU?!!!!!

i replied sorry guys, i overslept. skip sch today.

and get back to sleep. HAH!

feeling soo lethargic , restless and soo on.

i am looking forward for tonight , meeting bby .

i swear im missing him alot thou we just meet 2 days ago.

some pictures took while webcam-ing with bestie

HAHAHA!!

going off to help out in the kitchen .

2009-08-26T10:45:00.000-07:00

"got me out here in the water soo deep

tell me how u gon' breathe without me

if you aint here i just cant breathe

there's no air "

2009-08-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

finally got myself a part time job

but then , this job is only for 3 days , will be working during F1

currently missing zaki soo much

i kinda hate his Ns life but there's nothing that we can do bout it

boyf is currently away for 3 days - outfield

i hate outfield. he cant call nor msg me at all.

in the jungle all day and only eat rations food , worse still its ramadhan

im the one dying

please return my baby back SAF

2009-08-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

i had alot of fun with flaaa just now

and now im missing love soo much

2009-08-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

i miss love

2009-08-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

enjoying myself with love this week

he got 1 week off from his camp that makes us spend the whole

week together spending our quality time

yet i am starting to miss him already the minute we headed home.

other than that i have to start my preparations on my coming exams
which is less than a month now but
i am so busy studying for my driving theory test which is on the 20th of aug.i wanna finish my license fast and try to complete it within 3 months

well, i've actually asked daddy for a car =)

i really got alot of things to do and catch up with

there is really more of wants then needs

i am missing my old friends
where are you people?

and i am currently looking for a part-time job.. anyone?

i just to feel like saving up money

why? - havent found the reasons yet.

my schdule is so pack everyweek.

worse still ramadhan is somewhere around the corner

so as hari raya .

i didnt really feel the excitement of hari raya this year

PS: girls look at me up and down and have nothing to say

but its funny how the words come out when i walk away

2009-08-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

unless if you have lives my life , dont judge me because

you dont know , never have and never will know every little thing and detail about me.

i dont need anyone approval

there is a point in life when i get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything

but its not about giving up i realise i dont need certain people and their drama.

2009-07-30T10:21:00.000-07:00

Life is fair

and im blessed to have him in my life

he completes everything that i have been searching for

anyways, life is too short to wake up with regrets

love the people who treat me right and forget the ones who dont

nobody said life would be easy

i cherish the moments and ignore the pains as

sometimes life does knocks me down to my knees

everyone sees who i appear to be but only a few know the real me

everything in life changes me in someway

im being who i wanna be not what others wanna see

i should say i have 2 sides not two faced

the one side you see and the one you dont wanna see

ps : if you had a life you would stop talking about mine and

if you ran as much as your mouth you would be in good shape

2009-07-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

pictures from yesterday partay.

before it started

i love him =)

mask parade

blow the candles ruz!

opening her presents

accompanied by boyf fir

more presents

more pictures coming up. most of the pictures are with

ruz the birthday girl.

happy 21st birthday.

2009-07-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

love's fren is having a birthday partay later on

in the evening and i still cant decide what to wear.

i have alot in mind but i can decide which one .

anyways , i've enrol for my driving license yesterday.

i enrol for class 3 license and im goin for the theory practise

somewhere in august. pass my theory then i can go for my driving.

lucky for me daddy is paying everything soo i just have to be

there and follow the classes. i notice that its not easy

to book the dates for my theory class , the night class

is all fully booked. i want to finish it fast.

i wanna drive .

on the other side , life is quite fair.

school works are all done so far but more is coming , i knw.

boyf is so lovely , no argue no fights.

parents are soo supportive , never say no to anything i wished for.

friends are at their best behaviour.

what else would i wish for.

good that life is fair for me this week .

lets just keep it this way.

pleaseeeeeeee.

2009-07-21T02:22:00.000-07:00

i cant help it but i really cant go to school for 3 days.

im down with fever and asthma, again.

this time round it was horrible. my temp went up to 40.4.

i guess my brains can get cooked up. geess.

luckily boyf have been very nice lately,well its good that

he realise im sick and atleast be nice.

his always very nice, indeed. hees .

I LOVE HIM

ouhh yaaa, im gonna enrol for my license this weekend.

happy? yes!

ps: its gonna be a short post for this few days

will do a proper update soon.

2009-07-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

yes, changes does happend

true enough that i am changing

so are you.

i am aware that i want you only to myself

its not about controlling over you

we had our freedoms, remember?

we need more time

do what is right

we promise , didnt we?

i hope you remember.

2009-07-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

things didnt go on well for me with boyf this few days.

we faught almost 2 times a week

its horrible . back then we are not like this.

it hurts when you ignored me like that,

it hurts when you didnt have time to spend ,

but did i complained?

did i ever?

things are getting much more complicated.

trying to be the best as ever.

i gave enough, my returns wasnt what i expected.

i knew guys will gave me that scar again .

i've learn to accept and i wouldnt wanna wound myself again.

2009-07-11T01:19:00.000-07:00

i've been very busy lately, no time to update anything here .

thou sometimes i am online but i was busy doing my schools project.

deadlines are getting nearer for my BPF group project .

i find it hard to get the whole group together and do the project as

for sure one of us will be away due to certain reasons.

soo we will just do our part i guess.

the first week of school is always the 'lazy' week

after 3 weeks of holidays and i miss waking up at 3-4pm and only sleep

at 6-7 am .

sayang is very busy with NDP training on weekends

and without him i really dont know how to fill up my own time or keep myself busy.

i am soo used to be with him every weekends. that is how my weekends shud be.

more test is coming up. i've been getting grades that i didnt expect

because i did my revisions. i am not sure about the marking schemes.

its really making me confuse.

2009-07-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

today didnt go on that well or should i say not as what i plan?
thot to spend the very few hours of quality time with boyf and some friends but
then it didnt happend .upset? yessss . something happend halfway .
aniways looking forward for the NDP rehearsal this saturday ,
i am not going there to practice (i dont have the time!) but im going there to see boyf practice ,
performs and everything . and its not only boyf who is performing so as my buddy juju , will be performing too . awww im proud of u guys . the 2 most important person in my life .
i admit without them i stand no where in this world , they have been the one to always be by my side when i was at the lowest point of my life . it mean alot to me .

school is gonna start soon . and ya , revisions? projects?
hhmm.. one stare from my teachers can really give me a fright .
i gotta get my brains working .

i miss muhd zaki(boyf)

2009-06-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

i am so dissapointed with myself as lately i've been getting into so much trouble
which cost me more and more fines to pay up now . well im talking about my habit of
smoking which leads me to no where but hundreds of dollars burn and 2 session of councelling for me to be a smoke free person. urrghhh. my offence was littering actually , but littering a lighted cigg bud on the floor .

aniways , other then the fines , things have been goin on smoothly. no fights between me n boyf . "amin" . btw , im soo gonna book a chalet located at bukit batok ,its the CDANS club . well , its very cheap only $50 a night , its a 2 storey chalet with 2 rooms and a living room on the 2nd floor and the first floor , it is like a open space , its does not have doors nor walls , its has tables and chairs to hang around , PLUG IN SPEAKERS as it has a few powerpoints , the best part was each room has a balcony . YEAh . eventhou its not by the beach or soo but i like the chalet itself. it is big . i went there last saturday as i had a birthday partay to attend and i find it a good place to throw a partay . i shall throw a partay there too one day .

your truly ,
ikaa farhanah bte hussain Lee.

CHOWS .

2009-06-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

thnk you to those who have been sending text msgs

to me wishing me bdae . *hugs*

and thank you so much to those who were with me on that very 'cold' night.

lots of love .

2009-06-25T11:54:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is my big day . happy birthday me .
party-ing tomorrow . will update more .

chalos .

2009-06-23T08:46:00.001-07:00

i realise that i have been eating alot this few days and ya , gaining some weight.
i told boyf that i wanna loose some weight , 'hahahahahaha' he laugh
so yaa. thats how it goes. anyway , having alot of fun taking his solo photos today.
i really miss him alot , in camp now. yes , god has answered my prayers . i hope there wont be anymore fights . miss u bby . *hugs*
love .
frm girlfy.

im really looking for a part time job and its hard to get 1 this few days . with the economy now , companies are firing staff and here i am trying to apply a job . ridiculous .

2009-06-19T10:57:00.000-07:00

im going to be strong so that i could stop crying whenever i had a small fight with boyf.
because if i aint strong enough im afraid i wont be staying long and the love between us is going down the drain which im sooo not gonna let it happen . love is the creator of us , the reason of why im staying . after the small fight we had today , i hope it will bring us closer as we realise our mistakes and most importantly , bby , i miss ur hugs, they way we cuddle n me sleeping in ur arms . i also miss the way u used to pampered me last time . missing the old us. time will tell .

had alot of fun with mai these few days ,trying to get over my fines and the problems im going thru. the both of us really watched alot of indonesian movies yesterday .so called "movies marathon" mai is crazy over samuel rizal, a indonesian actor in the movie eiffel..im in love then followed by ayat-ayat cinta where the both of us almost cry watching that movie. it is soo touching, just like when ur watching the hindi movies , the emotional part. haha! hope to have another movie marathon with mai before school reopen and then assignments are getting pilling up each day . lots and lots of revision to be done before another semester ends, well gotta keep my brains working .soo much plan for this holiday but aint got anytime for it.im gonna miss alot of outings but i will for sure catch up with u guys as soon as possible .

2009-06-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

if only i can turn back time , because i really miss the old us. how i wish sometimes that i can really scream the hell outta me to let go of all the mixture feeling im having right now. no words can really explain . how i wish sometimes u can really understand how im feeling , the pain im going thru . yes , we are goin thru alot right now , ur ns , my fines , no time to spend tgr , how bout u atleast spare a thot on me. would u? i hope im not asking much . i really hope that i have been such an understanding girlfriend to you and be the best . the picture above means alot to me , our 1st picture ,our happy moments last time , i admit it was diff last time. i cant recall what has happend but it is what it is now CHANGED . i wouldnt wanna share alot to u on how im really feeling now as wouldnt wanna trouble u or make u stay up the whole night thinking about it. but sometimes , does he even care? qns that have been on my mind quite often this few days.
sometimes i hope im strong enough to go thru this alone but i guess with the situation im in now i am getting stronger internally each day. i shall just keep those feelings to myself , i dont dare to speak up . dont wanna hurt his feelings , let mine . i believe in every relationship we have to sacrifise sometimes .

please answer my prayers .

2009-06-15T09:58:00.001-07:00

a few pichas taken today wit mai.

2009-06-14T23:54:00.000-07:00

miss boyfriend.

2009-06-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

he just dont realise what his doing is really affecting me.
the love between us is hanging helplessly now.
please do something to it as i've tried my very best to save it.
should i stay or should i go?

to boyfriend
you've messed me , you've screwed me up.
i feel hopeless and powerless.
i wonder how to melt ur heart of stone.
i know im far from perfect.
you've broken me into pieces with your attitude
dont you know that you are hurting me.

from girlfriend

hope u can change.

2009-06-10T05:48:00.000-07:00

tired of what has happened this few days.
i really dont know what am i doing . i hope things wont get worse.
im really missing baby badly. im soo looking forward to this friday.
i cant wait to see him. not really in the mood to blog much today. things happened in school
and i dont really wanna talk about it.

currently waiting for bby to text me ,his so busy cleaning his riffle.

............................

2009-06-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

down with fever, flu and asthma.
been having asthma since i was a kid
but its been years since i had asthma
and now it came back.
how miserable.
this week i can predict it aint gonna be a good week for me
well its monday today and soo many things had happend. NOT THE GD ONES of course.
urrrghhh.
had a few misunderstandings with boyf today
as usuall girls cry , soo yaa i did.
i really had enough of what he had done towards me repeatedly
im weak. and worse getting weaker each day.
i really hope there will be change in our relationship
coz for now its hanging helplessly.

2009-06-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

i wont be attending school for a fews days
as my beloved grandma has just passed away last sunday
therefore i'll be very busy with 'kenduri' .
im gonna miss alot of lessons in school , my roleplay , napfa test .
really gotta catch up alot .
you might not know her but all you can do is pray al-fatehah to my
grandma , jamiah bte rashid .
i really missed her now.

ya'allah , tolonglah tempatkn nenek ku ini dikalangan org2 yg
soleh dan solehah. semoga diampunkan dosa2 nyer .
amin.

2009-05-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

muhd zaki is very busy with NS
i cant really blame him
but YA kinda sick of it
still trying to be strong for our love
so im taking the chance bcoz i know
how absolutely perfect something could turn out to be.
falling in love with you was beyond my control.
please think sayang ...

2009-05-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

the day for me to grow a year older is getting nearer .will be celebrating it with families , friends but not with boyf . soo what so special when he aint there .its gonna be the same as previous years.
im still kinda busy planning bout my celebration this year . papah let me decide everything . that is something new . previous years i didnt get a choice where to celebrate n stuff so it ended up boringggg.

still deciding what should papah get for me as a gift . hehe . again he said choose what i want . soo now i have been busy doing online shopping trying to get all the things delivered but yada yada yada soo much problems . i also ask papah for a new watch as i have been wearing that guess watch which he bought for me few mnths back and he agreed to get me a new 1 . so at least 1 of the items in my 'presents i wanted' list is strike off . next i also ask papah for the pussycat dolls concerts tickets which will only cost him abt $140++ i guess per ticket , and yea papah's getting me 2 tickets to bring a friend along . another one strike off =)
now im thinking of getting papah to get me a few tickets to watch the football match , liverpool n s'pore? if i nt wrng . yada yada . but im still deciding as i dont really watch football but i just feel like going . haha . okay . mamah gonna kill me but since its a birthday gift frm papah she cant really say much abt it .

my aunties and uncles have been asking me also almost everyday. what i wanted? what i wanted?
relax people . 3 more weeks to my birthday . let me think of what to get .

ToOdLeS

thank you papah .
frm ur daughter .
hehe =)

2009-05-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

thank you so much to my sweetheart ju
so as her friends. thanks for the help . i really appreaciates it alot .
no words can explain how relieve i felt . it was kinda hard to believe it at first.

hubby is going brunei very soon =(

i'll post more later .

ToOdLeS

2009-05-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

grandpa really gives me a fright .

i really dont know how to put my feelings into words .
everything is soo messed up .
i knew it would happen . mama ever told me bout this but i dont expect grandpa
to pass it down from generations to generations . gosh .
please do not trouble the people around you in whatever you are doing .

aniway , boyf has 4 days to spend his time with me . luckily his ndp training was cancel so no training on saturday but instead of booking in on sunday as usual this time he book in on monday . soo yay! even thou we had 4 days to spend the time together it isnt enough . its always isnt enough .hahaha! gonna enroll for my license soon . daddy gonna pays for everything ,class 2B n class 3 . hehe .
but before all that , i really need to get my assignments ready before school hols begin .
bbbbooorrrriiinnngggg ~~
but its part of my responsibilities.

tOoDlEs

2009-05-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

this weekend is a disaster . i wouldnt wanna talk bout what exactly happend between me and my friends . true colours is shown on that very chaos day . gosh . i really hope things wont go any worse then that chaos day . anyway sentosa on the 16th was cancel due to the weather and stuff . the sky seems very cloudy but it doesnt rain . hahaha . so i spend the whole day with boyf and i manage to forget about all the probs i had . my whole day with him is full of laughter and that is why i need him the most when i was at the lowest point of my life . sayang boyf . and also my besties juliza . we are so close and when i got into trouble somehow she can dream about it . hahaha . psychic uhh . hahaha . its just the strong bonds that we had for each other can really make us sense when one is in trouble . i really miss her now . like the previous post . we have been busy with our own stuff and we really have alot to catch up . i really appreaciate the help that she's gonna contribute in . it really means alot to me dear friend . im really getting stress out . HELP .

2009-05-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

i miss my close fren . juliza . miss u babe . we got alot to catch up .
=(

2009-05-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

today i totally forget about the fight i had with boyf last sunday .
met him today . yay!
i was in sch n my phone beeps . a msg from bbylove n its says ' syg , today my sgt ask me to report sick . my temp now is 39.1 . ' wat!!!!!
i was soo shock n worried . i started to ask him soo many questions . will they send u home? do they let you to have some rest? ..............................
and he only reply me ' i'll get back to you later . need to do some stuff '
hmph! i was kinda piss . come on lah syg im soo worried and you make me wait .
then i cant concentrate in class . i was in my own world thinking abt him . hahah .
well , after all they did sent him home . but he insist on fetching me after sch . soo ya he did .

watch a movie ' jangan tegur' aint that scary after all . i almost fell asleep . haha .

i gotta do my assignments now . deadline are getting nearer . soo much things to do in soo little time . HELP .

2009-05-11T06:53:00.000-07:00

sayang bought me a Jose Eber signature series straightening iron . hehehehe . because my previous straightening iron doesnt works anymore . hahks! it cost him only $120 after discount usual price was $200 . soo its 50% off . hahks! its a advance b'dae gift . hehe .anyways thank you bby .

i'll post more later .

waiting for his call or msg .
he didnt text nor call me yet since 11 may 5.17 am till now 10.07pm .
sayang ........... u soo bz? what time will your life range ends?
when he get his posting as a riffle man after p.o.p , i kinda like it . 'riffle man' sehh . but now i dont like it . his always so bz with riffle range , life range , outfield . hmph . hate ns .
hate ns .

2009-05-11T03:24:00.000-07:00

last week isnt a good week for me .

except for saturday. saturday is the only day that i really enjoy myself while boyf is in camp doing his guard duty . hehe . i told him the next day , that i went for seesha with frens and went home quite late surprisingly he said ' i thought soo . i kinda have this feeling that you went out and somehow i think you went for seesha . ' i look at him , i dare not say anything else . i was wondering is it all coincidence that he happens to have the feeling and think that way . hahahaha. anyway i ever told him that i wanted to go for seesha soo i guess its just a random guess .

sunday sucks alot . he book out ard 9am he came to my place and then we went to have breakfast . we were laughing , joking ard but then after a movie that we watched 'the uninvited' we quarrel . i was soo mad at him and i made him cry . im soo sorry sayang . he was crying soo badly and i just cant stand looking at him crying that way . anyway his crying because i wanted a break up after knowing that he did something soo wrong .i was dissapointed , upset, everything . but my feelings for him wont fade because whatever happens it only involves me and him . no third party =) . love him sooo much . hehe . i'll always forgive you sayang . just that its kinda hard for me to forget .

2009-05-09T10:57:00.001-07:00

picture picture picture !

seesha .....

MONA SYGG

THE GIRLS

CHOMEL!

NICHOLAS N ME

LAZY TO UPLOAD MORE

CHOWS .

2009-05-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

i had alot of fun today!

since boyf is soo bz with his guard duty soo i went out with my frens .
we plan to meet at bugis. soo shikin n kinah was there ard 2pm they were looking for bags , while me and nick was still at home. haha. then the plan to bugis is cancel nothing new there soo we headed to town . i was soo surprise that nick does not know where is lucky plaza when he alight frm orchard . hahaha .
he called me up and say 'ehh aku tak tawu mane nak jalan pergi lucky plaza' hehehe .
funny . later on after the hunting for bags . we headed to arab street for seesha . hahaha
overall it was kinda fun . with all the jokes that we shared . love all of them . haha!

kays . im very tired now . just got home . very slippy .
i need to get my beauty sleep .

hahahaha

2009-05-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

zakibby is very busy .
he hasnt been texting me nor call me .
guard duty is enough to kill me .
i miss him .

2009-05-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

late late late!
class starts at 9 today but i thought it starts at 10 . soo i woke up ard 7.30
go and get my shower only then i realise that im already late for class.
the journey from my place to school took me about 1hr and 1/2. soo i rush out call my darling siti
as we plan to meet at jrg east first . i thought she was waiting for me at J.E but i was surprise when i called her , she was still at home worse still she just woke up . hahahaha!
i met siti at J.E ard 9 therefore i decided to just took a cab to sch . from jurong east to simei it cost me $21.00 . wow!! i rushed to class it was ard 10.30 sch ends at 12 . F%$#^%&8 . there goes my $21.

fetching bby today outside his camp .
but he has to be bck in camp before 10pm because he has to do guard duty on sat .
sob sob .
boring . there goes our saturday thought of spending time together but F^&*@&#% guard duty.
hahahahaha

im still not sure of what to buy for my mum .
mothers day is this weekend . my family is celebrating it tomorrow . urgh!!
what to buy???

btw swimming lessons in sch . yay! 22nd of may. hehehe.
im soo looking forward to it .

lova aki.

2009-05-06T07:12:00.000-07:00

i cried in sch today!

i really did . i wanna help but there is nothing much i can do besides advising siti to
change n do something good for herself n her future . its hard for me to see her in that situation which ended up putting tears on my face. as a fren i felt the pain she went thru . it was soo painful even nw while im typing tears are roliing down my cheeks. i'll give her the support in whatever she does .

siti ,
everything in life changes you in some way
even the smallest thing
be strong now , because things will get better
it might be stormy now
but it cant rain forever.

be strong now. thats the only thing u can do .
i'll always be there hunn =)